I’m just gonna go out and say it. I slept in the Season Premiere of The Bachelorette with Rachel Lindsay.
OR is Wa-dung?
Last season, The Bachelor producers gave me what I wanted, they gave me Nick. But he turned out to really boring TV and then I had to watch him cry and pick Vanessa, who I think is super unlikable.
Then you get Rachel and make it all about the first African-American Bachelorette—fair, but should have happened a long time ago.
After hearing so much about Rachel as a run-up to the show, I found out she’s already engaged before I pressed play on Episode 1.
What is up with you Bachelor Producers?
With Nick, the marketing strategy was to see if he’s gonna be rejected a third time. This time, they wanted to make sure we know it’s a (contractual) happy ending so we should be positive from the first buffer.
Episode 1: Season Premiere of The Bachelorette Season 13
Somewhere between the tickle monster, the chicken costume, and the penis guy, my mind started wandering if Rachel’s shoot could have been better (less rosy) and then I fell asleep. This has never happened and I’m safely here to say, I’m not enjoying it.
The only good part about this was seeing a diverse group of guys–just like it should have been.
Episode 2: The Bachelorette Season 13
Things did get better in the second episode: we saw Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis running a group date and it was a laugh riot!
What followed was Rachel telling us she’s getting bored, hearing nonsense about the Wa-Boom guy (another stunt by the producers) and DeMario, the guy who came on Bachelorette Season 13, without being screened for a girlfriend. He looks at his current or ex-girlfriend and says “who’s this?” I don’t know who was more choreographer, the ex-girlfriend or Rachel asking to McCheater F*** OFF.
While that earned her brownie points from the world over, she also got you a few slobbery kisses from Dean (the group date rose guy), Peter (he’s no Jared) and Josiah (their kiss was not pretty).
Now De Marco has made his way back to the Bachelor mansion, and wants to be Chad sans the creepy whistle.
What’s gonna happen in the next episode? Is this dramatic season going to make me sleep some more?
Stay tuned! I also rant about The Bachelorette on Twitter (@manavisiddhanti). Come and say hello!