The Guilt That Keeps Me Away From Shopping–And what I did to Overcome it

Something very weird has been happening lately.

I don’t feel like shopping.

The average Urban woman is tempted to shop about 10 times a day. For a 30-year-old writer, lifestyle blogger who’s also single, I’m tempted by an array of products that managed to hit my timeline.

I think of buying 20000 mAH Power Bank one second and then jump to Guerlain Terracotta 4 Seasons Bronzer.
I open another browser window and there it is: flashing with PANTONE’s best colors and India’s best looking models all saying the same thing, SALE.

It doesn’t end there. They seem to be offering everything I could think off in 1 space. 50 % off + 40 % off after using a certain discount code. Wait, is that 90% off? With the usual sense of disbelief, I still tell myself I’d get half off my skin fit, distressed jeans—that I’d need that six button, double breast trench coat this winter.

But I don’t buy it. I don’t check out.

I’m just gonna say it: I don’t feel like shopping. In fact, I think it doesn’t make me happy.

How is this even possible? I ask myself. In the world where I am an active part of the style to live (lifestyle), consumerism is at an all-time peak. For example, my iPhone6S represented my status with technology. An upgrade from Maruti Wagon R to Renault Duster is a reminder of friends’ salary hike. People who have never been interested in photography are busy swimming with Go Pro Hero 4.

Plus being a blogger, a Delhi girl, and a Delhi blogger has its own set of pressures to deal with.

But somehow I am a little tired.

Is it because I am growing up? That I am 30 and I finally know what value of money means? Partially. When I was 20, I didn’t have many bills to pay. So I shopped. Things changed. Responsibilities kicked in. But working in a magazine, and representing Indian Media called for a lot of pressure to look the part. I decided not to complain—embrace the Delhite in me and made the best of it.

So what else could it be? Guilt? Probably.

Over the years, I have accumulated so many things: gadgets I bought on an impulse, makeup I didn’t need, clothes I never wore. My shoe rack is full of boycotted pairs, thanks to the shoe bites they came with.

The guilt of indulging into material things was overwhelming. And shopping for new things to add to this pile wasn’t going to make me happy.

So I decided to change things. De-clutter my mind and my space.

I have an average Urban Indian cupboard, and right how it is full to the brim. The hangars are literally touching the piles of clothes that line the top half. Out of these, I only wear 30 pieces of clothes—40 at the most. So I started from the bottom, making my way up.

I made three lists: toss out, donate and sell.

1. I’ve had great times, thanks to ZARA, PROMOD and MANGO. And now, it’s time for someone else to do the same. So I made an account of Spoyl: an app that lets you sell stuff you’ve barely used. A few quick photos and descriptions later, my stuff went online. It was then bargained for, and sold off.
2. Step 2: I went around my space with disposable bags, yes, the same ones I use after throwing a party. Things that were torn, expired or broken couldn’t prove to be helpful to anybody. I threw them out.
3. What about the stuff I couldn’t fit in? Clothes I’d worn, oh so happily? I started making a pile with possessions to donate. Days went by and soon I’d filled 3 suitcases that weigh 25 kilos (physically) and held a lot of memories. But more importantly, they hopefully hold joy, comfort (and style) to those who got it. Navratri, Ganesha and Diwali was spent giving away most of these away to women and children at Mata Mandir, Blind School Delhi and many more places.
4. The good part of being a blogger is that you get to share—if you’d want to. Some goodies were shipped to my sister; some were given to friends, but mostly were given away in contests on the blog.
   

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   End Note: A change in perspective.

   I am also not gonna make the same mistake. I only buy things I need or that I REALLY want. The true meaning of minimalism finally meant more than a style statement.

   Slowly, the guilt is weaning away.

Maybe I’ll feel like shopping soon. You know—when I have space for it. In my head and my wardrobe.

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